Tuesday, July 22, 2014

5 Roadblocks to Getting a Date

The reality is that there are probably some reasons certain people get dates easily, and others do not. Here are 5 helpful things to consider. Of course this only matters if you WANT to go on dates! Ha ha!

  1. Your style.
To be "fashion conscience" doesn't mean you must look like someone else, or that you should flip through the latest magazine and adopt the latest trend in fashion as yours! No, no no!  Don't be someone you are not, but it's important to have a style. I am sure you are aware, there are a million different "styles" out there, find one or create one.

For example: Might be time to cut the mullet, and donate the Jordache jeans to Good Will and drop those mesh crop tops in the trash … and that's just the guys I'm talking to!

Seriously though, it's important to have some fashion sense, especially if you are single and looking to ever get a date! Consult with someone who knows something about style, and have a make-over of sorts. Just make sure it's a style that is reflective of you and your personality.

  1. Personal Hygiene.
Good grooming techniques are important in getting dates, or at least getting a second date. Trim your nails, brush your teeth, bathe, where cologne (Some people are very sensitive to smells … you want to make sure you produce a pleasant smell not an offensive one), put some deodorant on, etc. And make sure to shave the hair above the nose that connects the eyebrows, etc.

  1. Your Manners, or lack of. (This is a very important one!)
You may have some bad habits you are unaware of; smacking when you eat, picking your nose, interrupting people when they are talking, talking over people, standing too close to people, talking too loud or any annoying traits that you aren't aware of but others are picking up from you.

Maybe “your manners” are a little creepy, like staring weirdly at someone you feel is attractive … yet you say not a word. Creeper alert! Again consult some people and get some helpful feedback.

Ask some of your close friends, they will tell you, hopefully., if not call me (913) 390-1200 and I will consult you.

  1. You're too busy.
You may be the perfect catch for someone, but you are simply too busy. You don't get out there. So no one knows you are available. If your working a ton of hours, and do not have anytime for yourself, then it's going to be a challenge to get dates. Make time to date.

  1. Too Eager.
Eager can be good, but being too eager can be a turn off. No one wants someone who is desperate.

Here is a LINK to the TV interview on Better KC on KCTV 5: VIDEO

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Where Am I Going?

I ask myself, "Where Am I Going?" a lot these days. I'm not talking about Heaven and Hell here either. I am talking about life in general. I'm sure it's part of being 45 years old I guess - the whole mid-life thing. I think and feel different about a lot of things as I get older. It's weird. Though I do feel that it's a valid question to ask ourselves. Because I think we all have a rough idea of what we'd wish for, or what we would like, or what would be cool. Right?

As I ponder the question what pops up in my head is that it's important to make sure that I do know where I want to go in life and then to make sure I do what would lead me there, and not do what would keep me from there. Make sense? I mean if I want a good life then I ought to limit the bad stuff, right?! I mean, that would only make sense.

Another thought is to *seek the wisdom of those who are where you want to be, or are well on their way to getting there on some level. Evaluate your life, your choices, your friends, your spending habits, etc. Make whatever changes necessary to help you get on your way to wherever it is you want to go.

*This can be done through reading books, and even actually setting up appointments with people. Make sure to have your questions written down before you meet them, and take good notes.

And finally, get moving!

Sunday, June 29, 2014

I See Problems, God Sees Answers

There are five kinds of people, as I see it, when it comes to dealing with problems.

1) Those who see problems and love to point them out. (Problem Finders)

2) Those who see problems and love to whine, grip and complain about them. (Problem Whiners)

3) Those who act as though there are no problems. (Where's Waldo Problems)

4) Those who see problems and want nothing to do with them so they run away. (Problem Chickens)

Then there is my personal favorite ...

5) Those who see problems and go straight to trying to find answers and fix them. (Problem Solvers)

The three most destructive behaviors are #2, #3, and #4 ... and to me the most destructive to an organization is #2, Problem Whiners. These are the people who spoil not only themselves, but everyone else around them. They are poisonous to any team attempting to accomplish a vision. Complaining is easy... it's a sign of laziness. Don't be that guy!

There are always going to be problems, in every family, in every church, in every work place, in every school, in every team, in every organization, absolutely everywhere. And this is because there are no perfect people.

My Challenge:

Be a problem solver in whatever church, team, organization, school, group you are in! Be the kind of person who when you see a problem you look to find answers and then ACT! Fix it! Rally people around you to help you fix it. Let people know TOGETHER WE CAN DO THIS!

Side note:  I believe in a Christian context that usually when we see a problem God is calling us to FIX IT! That is why the problem has been revealed to us, because we have the capacity to do something about it. This should give you a different perspective on "problems." They are revealed to you to do something about it, so be a person of courage and ACT!

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Our 20th Anniversary

June 18, 1994

20 years ago I made one of the best decisions of my life, and that was asking Jana Elizabeth Bryant to marry me, and she said, "Yes!" The rest is, as they say, history!

Many of you reading this are thinking, "Awe, that's so cute!" And that's fine, but our marriage is like any other marriage, it has taken a lot of work to get where we are today. I had someone ask me one time, "Is your relationship with Jana real? I mean, what I see from the outside is that really what is happening ... do you really love each other that much ... and are you that happy?" That's a fair question! Because we have all seen marriages that "seemed happy" to only end in divorce months later with the couple hating each other. How does that happen? It boggles all our minds.

The answer to that question, "Is it real?" is "Yes! It is real and we really are that happy!" Though you should know that we are like most couples; we fight on occasion, we get mad, we give each other the silent treatment from time to time, I don't always get my way and I don't like that, we disagree, we cry, we yell, but we also laugh a lot, we joke, we dance, we celebrate, we sing, we go on regular dates, we compliment, we praise, we say sorry, we forgive, we dream, we serve each other, and we love like crazy. Marriage is what two people make it! It's all in. Half doesn't work out too well.

I ran in to a famous comedian the other day in the TV studio, I was just coming off camera and he was getting to go on camera and he said, "I've got 30 seconds ... give me your best marriage advice in 30 seconds or less." So I thought for a second and said, "Make what is important to her important to you, and she should make what is important to you important to her! Boom!" He then asked for my number so he could call me for more "relationship advice."

20 Years ago we made some promises to each other on how we were going to treat each other and here is the short list:

1) Never call each other names.

So far we have kept this one. This doesn't mean we have't thought them, we just haven't said them out loud! ha ha!

2) Never use the "D" word.

So far we have kept this one. Divorce, to us, is just not an option. We can always work it out, I pray this is always the case.

3) Don't use sarcasm in hurtful ways.

So far we have kept this one too. We are just not fans of cutting each other to pieces with our words.

4) Every day try to out-love each other.

This one has been a fun one, we fail many times in keeping this one perfectly, but it is always on our minds.

5) Go on regular dates with each other, no matter what.

We have been faithful to this one. We had a couple tells us 20 years ago, "You will always have a good excuse (kids, no money, no time, etc) to break this promise, just don't! No matter what, go on regular dates."

6) *Take a vacation every year.

We have kept this one. This hasn't always been easy, even now, simply because I am not a TV Evangelist making millions of dollars :) seriously though, we have been faithful to take a vacation every year even though we are tight financially like most people. It's a non-negotiable. It's easy to make excuses on "why you don't take a vacation" but that's lame! Make it a priority! I read a book called, Top Five Regrets of the Dying, and one of the regrets was related to this one. You will NEVER regret taking a regular vacation with your spouse, then with your kids if you chose to have them. It's a winner!

*I am typing this blog entry while on my 20th annual vacation!

7) Don't let your kids keep you from each other.

We have kept this one, but not without a fight!

Acknowledgements:

I would like to give credit where credit is due ... and the couple that helped us so much back 20 years ago is Dan and Jane Morrison! Thank you!

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Picnic with Spice


1) Picnic & Photo shoot.

 The idea here is to have a little picnic somewhere special, but during meal capture the moments, the laughter by snapping pictures. With phones being cameras now it's not like you have to remember "the camera." Also, after you finish eating look for some cool areas to snap off some cool pictures to share on Instagram.

2) Picnic & Poems.

 This idea is simple, only a little pre-planning before the date (or have your smart phone handy) bring some poems you feel communicate what you might want to say to your partner ... during the meal read them to each other.

3) Picnic & Massage. 

 Easy, just eat and rub. (That sounded weird! ha ha!) A nice neck and shoulder rub after you eat, or feet and hands ... you can figure it out.

4) Picnic & Kisses.

 There's nothing more romantic than kissing ... so be intentional about lots of kisses, throughout picnic, after, on the way home ... and the kisses can be on the arm, the hands, the feet, the cheek, lips, behind the ear ... you get the idea ... keep it Rated PG though, especially if in public.

5) Picnic & Dreams.

 This will take some prep, at least some pre-thought prep. Take some time before this picnic and really think about what your dreams are.  Where do you want to live?  What do you want to do? Where do you want to travel? What are your dreams? This is a fantastic way to really get to know someone! Critically important if this person is a potential life partner. You want to really know them ... and knowing what someone dreams about let's you in their heart.

One more for fun:  

6) Picnic in Paris (or wherever you wish). 

 The idea here is themed picnics ... pick a place you want to go and make sure to bring food specific to that place, maybe have some pictures pulled up on your phone, read some facts and insights to "the place" and dream of being there, and if you are really good even do the accent. That would be impressive.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Qualities of a Good Friend

It seems that there are a lot of squirrelly ideas on what a "good friend" actually is these days. I ran across a quote that on one hand was funny and cute, but in my opinion rather misleading; "A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn ...that was fun!"

The very essence of a "good" friend gives the impression of "good" things taking place. And that wouldn't include things that are illegal or harmful. So what are the qualities of a "good" friend? We need to know this so that we can not only BE a good friend, but know what to look for when searching out good friends.

For example consider these questions: Would a Good Friend allow his buddy to drive drunk? Would a good friend drive drunk when his friend is in the car?

1) They influence you to DO and BE good.

2) They challenge you to DO and BE more.

3) They make you a BETTER person.

4) They PROTECT you from evil. (This would include all things illegal & harmful ... including people!)

5) They are HONEST.

6) They are TRUSTWORTHY.

7) They have your BEST INTEREST at heart.

8) They ENCOURAGE you to achieve great things.

I highly recommend you find people like this, and extend them the hand of friendship. As well you should be this kind of person to your friends.

Be a good friend, and find good friends!

Disclaimer: I realize you can not make people do anything! And as a friend sometimes we want good things for those around us, but in the end we are each accountable for the choices we make and what we do with what we have been given.

One day I believe we will all stand before a Holy Righteous God and give account for everything we've done that we shouldn't have done, everything we haven't done that we should have done, and every word we've ever spoken will be reviewed. If that scares you, good! It should, it scares the Hell out of me! But don't we want to be and do good because it's right? Not just because we will give an account to God some day, but because it is what is right. I do!

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Moving Forward

One of the most difficult things to do when we are afraid, tired, distressed, lonely, sad, or depressed is to keep moving forward. What we really want to do is lay down. But in life we must keep moving forward ... we must press on, no matter what.

There is a scene in the movie, Sleepless in Seattle which is the story of a man, played by Tom Hanks, who lost his wife and is having trouble moving on. And his little boy, in an attempt to help his Dad move on, calls a radio talk show host to get his Dad some help... here is that scene!



I love this movie! And for many reasons, but primarily because it has a powerful message of moving on, moving forward, pressing on even when it's hard to do so. So to all my family and friends and the few others who read my blog, if you find yourself in a difficult situation and moving forward seems impossible, just keep moving forward. One day at a time! Reminds me of an old church song that I love, One Day at a Time Sweet Jesus ...

Chorus: 
 One day at a time sweet Jesus 
 That's all I'm asking from you. 
 Just give me the strength 
 To do everyday what I have to do. 
 Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus 
And tomorrow may never be mine. 
 Lord help me today, show me the way 
 One day at a time.